Goodbye Jules.

#Goodbye my beautiful handsome Jules. Thank you for 7 years. It's gone by too quickly and hasn't been long enough. I wish we had more time. Thank you for grooming me, kissing me, licking my tears, purring, head butting, snuggling, and everything else. Even at the end you fought sleep to try and kiss my tears away. You have been my best friend and will always be my lovey-love. I love you and don't know how I will do this without you. I will miss you. Until we meet again over the #rainbowbridge……. #FuckCancer #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofig #catsofinstagram #catlady #catlover #catlovers #catlove #catlovers #heartbroken #heartbreak #bestfriend #broken #brokenheart #valmg #siamese #siamesecats

A post shared by Valerie (@valmg) on Apr 10, 2017 at 1:22pm PDT

A few days ago (this past Friday), Jules started showing signs of not feeling well. He was not himself. I saw he wasn’t eating as he should. His breathing seemed shallow to me. Saturday morning I went out and bought him some kitten replacement formula and some wet kitten food. My thoughts were to try and get some nutrients into him. He did take small amounts. By Sunday morning things had not improved. I called around and none of the vets were open. The only one open was Banfield, and even after I explained what was happening they said they couldn’t get him in until the following week. I’d really started to get worried by then. Monday morning I got a hold of a vet we had used for years and they asked me to bring Jules right in.

I went into the vet concerned and not knowing what to expect. After all, Jules was only 7 years old. He’d always been treated with tons of love and affection and lots of play. He was well cared for. While we waited for the vet, Jules was curious and explored the room. It gave me hope to see him like that, because that was his nature. The vet came in and listened to my explanation of his symptoms, then said he wanted to give Jules an x-ray. They took Jules into the back to do that while I waited. A few minutes passed and they brought Jules back. A few minutes more went by and the vet tech said they wanted one more x-ray. And then they brought my baby back again.

I didn’t have to wait long until the vet came into the exam room. He told me he wanted me to see the x-rays. He led me into another room where Jules’ x-rays were on display. The doctor explained to me that Jules has a massive tumor, pointing it out on the screen. He said he was certain it was an aggressive cancer of some sort. The tumor has gotten entwined with his bowels and had spread, causing Jules difficulty breathing. As I started to cry I asked if Jules was in pain, half knowing what the answer would be. The vet said Jules was most assuredly experiencing pain. There were no viable options to help him. So I had to make the decision to have Jules euthanized.

Prior to euthanizing Jules, the doctor gave him a sedative.  After administering the sedative, the vet and his assistant left the room so my last minutes with Jules could be private. I have always enjoyed a very special relationship with Jules, which is a bit odd since I didn’t choose him myself and he was a breed I wouldn’t have made my first choice. Jules was my love, which is how he got one of his nicknames, lovey-love. He had some characteristics that reminded me so much of my first Himalayan cat Nikki that I often amused myself with the thought that maybe they were somehow connected through reincarnation or something. He loved me like no other cat I’ve ever had did. He followed me around the house like a puppy. He groomed me at night. He’d snuggle and purr any time I saw down. And on the occasions I was uset or sad he’d come over and purr and lick the tears from my face. He was simply incredible.

The vet came back into the room, only to find me still sitting on the floor holding Jules in my arms. You see, Jules hadn’t gotten sleepy yet. The vet said the sedative had usually taken full effect by then, and that he couldn’t believe Jules wasn’t sleeping. Instead, Jules was too busy trying to lick the tears from my face. Finally after about 15 minutes he did fall asleep, after which point they euthanized him.

I will always treasure the special bond that I had with my Jules. Seven years went by too quickly and it wasn’t nearly enough time. My heart is broken.