Affirmation And Answers Through CJ And Noddy
Tonight was our monthly PTA meeting. I came home steaming mad, questioning myself on if it was worth it to be there. I’ll spare you the storm and drang of the meeting and get right to what’s on my mind.
Part of the goal of the SEPTA, or mission statement, reads as follows.
We will make Sacrifices in our lives
To create Pride
by helping these children and their parents Excel.
Through our Commitment we will work together
To Improve Awareness
And we pledge our Loyalty to EDUCATION
We are the Parent Teacher Association.
So. That all sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? You’d think.
First a little background. I think the idea behind this organization is a good one. I also think the organization has great potential. In the more than five years that I have been a member I have benefited from things I learned because I was a member. I learned that it is ok to question your school and how they are handling your child’s education. I have had my child’s IEP (short version- annual individualized education plan) broken, which is breaking the law. I learned that it is quite appropriate to hold the school responsible for breaking that law.
Member A raised a question about officers not following rules. Some of those folks were running for offices that required training. Member A caught a LOT of attitude and flack for bringing it up, despite the fact that she has always stuck to the letter of the law. Member B and C could be heard whispering. Member D was just rude and fresh. Member E said that she, as one of the founding members, was sure that our rules were intended to be bent because our parent members were burdened. What? Burdened? My special needs child is a challenge but certainly not a burden. I thought her statement was somewhat offensive. Anyway. Most of the group seemed to feel that questioning if rules were and should be followed was not needed. The meeting continued on in a downward spiral. Some people were yelling and behaving quite badly. I’ve seen groups of children behave better. I lost a lot of respect for some by the end of the meeting.
I made the ride home questioning my own view on the situation, and my involvement with the organization overall. Was all of this arguing worth it? Was Member A right – should rules be followed to the letter? Was the bullcrap I had just sat through for more than an hour worth it? RB saw my foul mood and lent an ear. He was astounded at my description of the night’s events. Not having found an answer, I spent a few minutes with CJ and then sent him off to bed.
I went into the bedroom to kiss CJ good night. I went in with a cup of milk and a head filled with lots of questions, none that he could answer. Noddy was on the television. In this particular episode Noddy had coins and was wanting to buy something. CJ pointed at the screen and said “Oddy”. I agreed and told him it was bedtime. Noddy was now counting his change – one, two. “Ree” said CJ. I tell him that’s right and that he needs to go to bed. “Oney” he tells me. I agree that that was money and it is bedtime. “Oins”. My answer hit me.
I learned from SEPTA that I must be vigilant, to protect my son’s right and access to the best education he can get. Tonight my son did a little counting and recognized money and was able to tell me in a manner that I understood. That may not seem like much to some but for us it’s freaking phenomenal. It’s a result of making sure that laws were followed, even when it wasn’t popular.
Our school district child study teams are surely understaffed and overworked. Some might call them burdened. That doesn’t mean they should break the laws, does it? Of course not. Some of the very people complaining about following the laws at tonight’s meeting have argued to hold the school district to the letter of the law in regards to their own child’s education. What a bunch of hypocrites! Apparently the laws only suit them when they suit their own interests and agendas.
Category: Life
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I hate that our school systems are like this. Rules are there for a reason! My sister has to fight every new teacher my nephew gets because they don’t want to follow his IEP
Wow, how difficult. I hate that it’s such a fight like that. My son started PPCD this week and we just had our first IEP drawn up.
It is heartwrenching to think of how much you give to raise this child yet you have to fight for him to get the best from education. It must be tiring but worth it. I wish I could get in those educator’s faces and give them the what for.
Karen – It is a shame that parents have to go through this. It’s astonishing what a battle it is. With a lot of help from my Mom we’re managing the school district.
Having worked as a teacher before having kids, I know how essential IEP’s are and the importance of rules to ensure that EVERY CHILD regardless of ability receives a quality education.
Nicole – You are absolutely correct.
I am such a black and white person. I can’t see gray even when I squint my eyes and turn my head sideways. This would make me crazy.
Lee – It is and should be black and white. It’s driving my Mom crazy because she’s always believed laws should be followed.
What’s the point in having rules and laws if no one follows them? Even more, what’s the point in having rules and laws if no one enforces them?
However, I don’t believe anyone should be taken to task for questioning rules and laws – that’s part of free speech and a democratic society. Questioning could lead to a change that improves the rule/law – kwim?
Trying to humiliate, degrade or otherwise suppress those who raise questions about how rules are followed or enforced smacks of oppression. I don’t care if it’s at the PTA level or at the highest level of government. Communicate with each other with respect – why is that so damn hard for people to do?
Creative Junkie – I do understand. I fault noone for questioning rules. I think people have a right to disagree with rules and go through channels to change them. Respect was totally absent at this meeting. I’m still stunned.
You know, Laws are made to be followed. It is the school’s responsibility to follow your child’s IEP, we had a child living with us and we had her tested and were coming up with an educational plan and then she left our house. It’s a long story but once they have one it’s supposed to be with them no matter what school they are in and it is important. I completely understand your frustrations here. Crazy parents!
Louise – That’s the thing. The battle with the schools is enough of a challenge. There shouldn’t have to be a battle with a group intended to support each other and help our children. It’s like high school, the mean girls vs the other girls. I hate cliques – the biggest reason I hated high school.
I would have to agree that it seems crazy to give a blanket statement “Laws are made to be bent” no laws are made to be followed! If you don’t agree with the laws you change them!
Thanks like saying “We will not give children a tardy because they are 20 min late, after all rules are made to be bent, and that rule is a burden to busy moms!”
C.R.A.Z.Y
Shasta – Exactly. Some of the people saying the rules shouldn’t be followed are the ones that put them in place! The whole thing is crazy.
A man in jail charismatically rose in leadership upon release. Longtime law abiding people who lived in his realm followed the laws. They registered as required. He put his police everywhere. He suspended laws. His word was it. People lived in fear. Then came the holocaust. Millions were annhiliated.
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In the blog, you just read I was the A attacked for questioning. (Incidentally the majority of the officers involved had not followed the rules if indeed they even knew them.) Laws are made to be followed, amended, or repealed. The officers involved chose to do none of these. Ironic to me that they would complain about accountability.
I am sorry that some of these potential leaders see their own children as burdens. I wonder which ones and why? If it is because of handicap, that is especially sad. My own mother became permanently handicapped ten years before she died. Our family moved her in with us. Sure we had to make some sacrifices and change some things around like ever child having the luxury of his/her own room. It was worth it to us. We all know we did the right thing. Hubby , each of the kids, and helped some. Let’s face it. The option of a nursing home was always there but never taken. It worked for us because we did not feel Mom was a burden.
I’m glad my family does not consider handicap a burden. Shortly after Mom died, I fell at work and became permanently handicapped so I do know how difficult some things can be. I thank God that I live in a free world today and have the right of free speech. I intend to continue to use it. Being popular is nice, but not at the expense of one’s integrity and conscience.
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FYI: The name of the man I referred to is Adolph Hitler.