What’s he smoking?!
I quit smoking several years ago. It was the best thing I ever did and one of the easiest things I ever did. I thought I was having a heart attack and I quit cold turkey. I never wanted one or tried one again. I am a believer that people can only quit smoking for themselves when they’re ready, a person can’t quite for someone else. My husband has smoked since before we met, and is not ready to quit.
Hubby informed me today he was almost out of cigarettes and that we needed to get more. Now usually this would not prompt a discussion or argument but the memory of our leanest Christmas yet is still very fresh in my mind. Plus, we’ve got one or two debt collection agencies calling all of the time. I took a moment to try and choose my words carefully before proceeding. I reminded him that since he’s only getting three nights of work a week his income is now about 70% lower than it used to be and I just can’t make the money we’ve got coming in stretch far enough to pay our bills, never mind pick up a couple of cartons of smokes. He didn’t quite seem to get that I was telling him it’s time for him to quit because we just can’t afford it. He chose that moment to go out for a while. I know he’s been depressed about things lately and I hate to feel that I’ve added to that in some way but there are priorities and smoking just isn’t one of them. I also think he’d feel better physically if he quit, it’d be so much better for his health.
So. Are any of you readers people that quit smoking because they couldn’t afford it?
Filed Under: Family • Health • Life • Money • This and That
Any reason can be a good enough reason to quit a bad habit (including smoking) - but everyone has to make a choice to do so - for themselves. In my experience doing things like that for someone else does not have a very high rate of success…
Happy New Year to both of you!
I go through the same thing with my husband. I wouldn’t mind so much if he didn’t say he was going to quit all the time. It’s usually something like he was going to quit after I was pregnant (our dd is 10 now), after my sister passes away (10 years ago), when he got a better job (too many years ago), etc. Now when we are being hard financially he really needs to quit and he won’t even talk about it. Our insurance will pay for everything to help him quit too. UGH!
If I were in the same situation I am not sure I would be able to quit, but I may choose to smoke a lesser brand which would cost less to help out.
@ Scott - He’s already smoking a non premium brand called Maverick.
We are in the same boat as you. I have also quit while my husband is still smoking. As your right, one cannot force upon another when it is time for them to quit. I do not know the amount of cigarettes your husband smokes in a day, week or whatever. However, this may sound like a small suggestion but it might help in a very small way in the beginning. Perhaps, if your husband can decrease his daily cigarettes by just three a day - it will decrease his consumption for the week by a pack. Sometimes, the smaller steps can lead to bigger ones. He may then be open to decrease by 4 a day and so on. It doesn’t sound like much, however to a smoker - if they can actually see the difference in just the small steps of having those ‘extra’ cigarettes at the end of what they normally smoke - its a huge accomplishment. Which can lead that person into taking bigger steps at their own pace — you are right it is a huge expense however with any vice — we always seem to find a way to use those extra bucks to buy what we think we need. The extra money is a huge motivator for many - however to some it is, but it isn’t. The reward will come in a few extra bucks, if he can see the accomplishment with having those extra butts at the end of the week. If that makes any sense at all.
@ Kimberly L - About a pack a day. Last year all smoking moved outside of the house. I thought for sure that would help him cut back or quit. You’ve got a good idea but unfortunately my hubby is one of those people that when you try to tell him something he only get’s more stubborn against it no matter how much sense it makes.
My philosophy is that especially when times are lean ~ everyone must pitch in. We all have our vices….. Give him an allowance. He can spend it on his luxuries. ie: smokes, beer, candy, starbucks… whatever. That way he makes his priorities and you are less of the bitch. Just a suggestion.
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@ Christina thecoffeelady - He’s always kept a portion of his check for himself. Until he lost his painting job he always had at least $100 a week (sometimes much more) for himself and his cigs never came from that money. Now he has about $50 a week.
I can understand both sides of this story, being an ex-smoker myself. I quit about 8 months ago. I started smoking when I was 17. I quit cold turkey as well. I had tried to quit several times before, but had never succeeded until this time - I wasn’t ready until this time. I, too, believe that a person has to be ready. I haven’t craved one since, and, now, the smell even grosses me out. But, I also remember how good it felt to have a smoke when I was stressed out, so I can understand how he must feel to have that comfort. He can only quit when he’s ready. While it’s tough to afford them, maybe come up with something else you can give up to make up the difference. That way you both feel like you’re not ‘losing’ the money.
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As much as you know that he should quit smoking, and that it’s too expensive at the moment, trying to quit during stressful times might just be too much for him
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@ Julie - I totally get that it might be too much but we need to keep a roof over our heads and the utilities on more than he needs to smoke. I’m really not trying to be a bitch but maybe it’s time he either looked for a different job or got a second job.